Crock of Shirt has been keeping us fairly busy lately. Well, not tremendously busy just yet, but pretty steady. It’s been steady enough this summer that I was finally able to realize a lifelong dream. Yes. Yes, indeed. This morning I took delivery of a new car!
Things are progressing enough that I was able to spare a bit of cash I was setting aside for something special. Something as special as a Lamborghini Aventador! As much as my wife would really like to have new living room furniture, I thought I’d better treat myself to a much deserved present before she got her hands on my savings and pissed it away on something foolish like couches and shit. You can’t drive a couch. Besides, the car comes with seats. Also, I was the one who spent the majority of my summer drawing new designs for shirts while she got to sit in an air conditioned office at her job. I don’t have air conditioning in the house. Furthermore, this chair I have to sit on is a cheap hunk of shit that hurts my back. It pulls on my upper legs in a way that stretches my ass skin. I’m going to need a tummy tuck on my ass from all this stretched skin. I guess it will be considered an ass tuck.
This particular car is a responsible choice because it is directly related to our shirt business. How? First of all, I wore a shirt when taking delivery of it. Secondly, this fine automobile is orange in colour, as is the Crock of Shirt logo on our business cards and website (at the time of this writing), therefore, it will be used as an advertising vehicle. Also, I like to draw cars and since this is a car, it might have a direct influence on a future design. I also like to ride my mountain bike because I can go fast, much like how Lamborghinis are fast – if I own a fast car, it might influence a new mountain bike design because it will remind me of riding my bike quickly through the trees. This car makes me happy and it’s scientifically proven that happiness brings out better shirt ideas – no bullshit.
Some people might be wondering how I could possibly afford a new Lamborghini. Well, it’s simple, really. When you own your own business, you’re rich. That’s how it works. And when you’re rich, you have to own an exotic car.
I’ve attached a photo of my new car below. It’s so friggin’ fresh it’s still in the factory wrap. It also came with a cool illustration of its likeness as part of the factory packaging. As soon as I’m done here, I’m gonna go put it with the others in my collection.