I’ve always been into cars. As long as I can remember, I have loved cars. In fact, “car” was my first spoken word. Over the years I have drawn many cars, collected many toy cars, and owned a few real ones.
I have a picture of me in my first car. Check it out below. I think I was 3 or 4 at the time. Mmmmprobably 3, which would make this picture from 1978 – 1979. It was a pedal car. That’s right, no battery-operated, high-tech stuff for me. Nope, this red speedster was all manual. I remember I used to carry a hammer in the trunk. My dad gave me a hammer because I liked watching him build stuff and hammering nails was cool. That’s right, no nail guns or high-tech stuff for me. Besides, it’s always a good idea to keep a hammer in the trunk in case you have to quickly pull over and build a fence or something.
As I was working on a new design the other day, I noticed the little picture of me in the red car in the corner of my desktop. I opened it and suddenly wondered if I could find out some information on it. I typed in 1970s Pedal Car and stumbled upon an ad from a Sears catalogue. It looks like Santa Claus got my car from Sears! That’s odd because I thought Santa and his little elves made everything. What a pile of bullshit that is! Anyway, the car in the ad looks almost identical to the one in my picture. My steering wheel is white and the one in the ad is black, but the rest looks almost the same. It appears that my first car was a Jaguar.
Upon first glance, you might think my car looks quite different from the one in the ad. Indeed, there are some differences, but that’s because you’re overlooking some stuff. You see, I customized my car. Apparently, I didn’t see the need for doors, so I took them off. Maybe I was going for a Jeep sort of thing at the time. I also didn’t need a windshield, so I took that off, too. I liked to feel the late-70s wind at my face and bugs in my teeth. It looks like my car didn’t have the French horn feature – fuck that, too annoying. Oh, and my car had the rear view mirror removed, too, because when you’re going balls-out fast at speeds that nobody can catch you, who gives a shit what’s going on behind you? I see that my trunk lid has disappeared. I have no explanation for this. Maybe someone was trying to steal my hammer.
Alas, the days of my first car eventually came to an end. I don’t know how long I had it for, nor do I remember the exact details about its last day in my possession. I know it went to the crusher. The story that I recall is that it got struck by lightning in our driveway, the evidence being a melted steering wheel. Now that I look back on it, I call total bullshit because my plastic car obviously didn’t attract a freak thunderbolt. I suspect the car became too broken to drive or I grew too big for it and my parents calmed the situation by telling me that it got struck by lightning. Maybe someone actually tried to light it on fire. For some reason I can remember the steering wheel being scorched and melted. Oh well. I’m just glad I have the picture as a memory.
Below: Life in the fast lane, yup.
Below: That’s right. A red convertible for $17.99.