Did you ever get nervous when it was time for parent teacher meetings (interviews?) when you were in school? I’m not sure I can remember that far back, but I’m sure I was a bit on edge about what the teacher might say.
Flip ahead a couple decades and now it’s my turn to attend meetings with the teacher. Ha! That’s right. Now I’m the one who is gonna get the dirt on what the little fuckers have been up to in school. The only thing is I’m still a bit nervous. You see, you never really know what to expect. I’m always a little afraid that the teacher will tell me my kid took a leak in a plant in the back of the class or something. That’s bad enough, but to make it even worse is that I’d likely find that really funny and that’s just not a good impression.
Tonight was our first round of meetings for the 2012/2013 year. Everything went really well, actually. Well, it all went well as far as the kids were concerned. The awkward part happened when we were waiting in the hall for our turn and I suddenly had the urge to sneeze. There was another mom sitting just down the hall from us, so I turned to unleash the sneeze. Luckily I had the foresight to turn around because the gum I was chewing and neglected to tuck into my cheek fired out of my mouth and onto the floor. Fuck! I’m a master at chewing gum and hiding it when necessary – how could I have fucked that up? Rather than bend down to pick it up, I left it there for a minute to avoid drawing attention to my filthy mistake. I wanted to make sure the other mom didn’t see me.
Since I don’t have anything of much interest to share from our meetings tonight beyond my gum sneeze, I will post what we found in our son’s art book last year. It’s little surprises like robots with cocks drawn on them in their schoolwork that really heightens the stress factor for further meetings. You never know what you’re going to come across as the teacher is watching you flip through your kid’s stuff. I can tell you that robot cock was something I didn’t expect. I can also tell you that it’s challenging to quickly turn the page while holding in laughter. The first picture below is the original that he drew in his book. The second picture is after I traced it and coloured it for him.