Frozen Food

Crock of Shirt is located in Western Canada. The province of British Columbia, actually. The city of Kamloops, to be specific. Kamloops is located in the southern interior of British Columbia. It gets very hot here in the summer.

Unfortunately, it’s not summer at the time of this writing. It’s the middle of winter here. I guess I don’t mind winter so much, but I do prefer summer. Maybe it’s because I no longer ski. I bet if I could go skiing, winter would be a lot more fun. Now I just draw pictures of skiers.

One thing I have not given up on entirely is cooking supper on the barbecue. A little bit of ice and snow isn’t going to stop this Canadian asshole. So long as the wind isn’t blowing to make life even more miserable, I’ll brave the cold and light up the grill. I’ve found that the key to winter barbecue success with my piece of shit barbecue is to keep the propane valve and temperature control knobs clear of snow. If I can manage to get the bastard lit, the heat will solve the rest of my problems. Barbecue also means less dishes to clean after supper.

The second key to winter barbecue success is the snow shovel. Hmm, this might even be the first key to success, as a path has to be cleared to even get to the barbecue to light it. Wait a minute! Hang on. Okay, this is higher priority than second. This is first. Shovel. The shovel is important and you will see why in the next sentence. The next piece for me is my sandals. I wear sandals when I barbecue so that I can effortlessly slip in and out of the house between meat flipping times. I might be an asshole, but I don’t stand outside the entire time. I make frequent trips in and out of the house, so my slip-on sandals work the best for easy access footwear. This trick allows me to keep my hands free to open the door and carry a plate. With open-toed sandals, it is very important to clear a path through the snow to the barbecue, or you’ll get snow in your socks.

Below: Notice I have the proper footwear for the job.

Sandals in the snow

Below: Another nice feature is the soft glow of the Christmas lights around my wieners.

BBQ Snow

Note: To this day, I have no idea why I bought a green barbecue. I hate it. I hate it, but it won’t die. We bought it about 12 years ago, so I blame it on being young and stupid. The only good thing about having a green barbecue that won’t die is I never have to bother to cover it, nor do I give it any maintenance.

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