This is truly the moment you’ve all been waiting for, I’m sure. I hinted at this last year and it has finally come to fruition. The derelict shit van that belongs to Kris has finally been branded with the Crock of Shirt logo! Either we’re desperate for attention, bored, marketing geniuses, insane, or just fucking hilarious. The paint and decals cost almost as much as the van itself. Follow along and I’ll take you on a journey that will show you how to customize your very own derelict vehicle!
First things first. Find yourself a vehicle. I prefer to use something that would be classified as a piece of shit, though even a decent car will do. I’ll post a couple pictures below that illustrate what I’m talking about. These first two automobiles will serve as proof that I totally know what I’m doing when it comes to car customization.
Below: The white Chevy Cavalier was actually a really decent car, so painting it with the racing stripe and matte black hood/wheels was a bit of a risk. I bought it as a winter beater and felt the need to give it some flavour with the stripe. I actually regret selling this car.
Below: The blue Chevy Cavalier was a total piece of shit. This was a great candidate for doing a quickie stripe job. The spray paint and masking tape cost more than the $7 I paid for the car, but the finished job made it precious. I abandoned this car in front of my brother’s house and it was picked up by a wrecker after a year of sitting.
You need a plan. You can’t just rush into things willy nilly. Our budget for the van graphics was not much, so we decided to keep it simple. Brand consistency is key, so I decided to follow the design of our business card, which is white with the orange Crock logo. Perfect, because the van is white. And rusty. I sketched out a plan, then took measurements of the van and drafted out my guide:
Below: This is after the paint was applied and the masking removed. It looks great from about 5 feet away, but a little furry around the edges. I apparently used the wrong tape. Either that or the rusty surface of the van compromised the bond of the tape. Whatever.
Below: I returned a week later to apply the vinyl sticker lettering. We could have had the entire orange area applied as a vinyl sticker, but the cost would have been astronomical. The vinyl lettering alone cost almost as much as the van, which Kris purchased for $200 + a case of Pilsner.
Below: The completed van! Again, the job looks great from 5 feet away (the van looks like shit from any distance). I sort of buggered up the vinyl sticker application in a couple spots, but very minor.
That’s it. Keep an eye out for us. If you see us parked somewhere with the doors open and it looks like we’re trying to sell shirts, come on over and have a look! If you’re a by-laws enforcement officer, go easy on us.