Last weekend was a long weekend, which is generally a highlight in the life of working folk. The extra day off makes it feel like a mini vacation. That one extra day off means you can have more fun! You can stay up late on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. But like many people we know, we stuck close to home and concentrated on yard work and spring cleaning, which meant a family trip to the garbage dump!

Yep, we went to the dump. I suppose it’s called the “landfill” these days, but it will always be the “dump” to me. Going to the dump has changed a bit over the years. (I feel like I’ve written about this before.) We used to be able to simply drive up to the massive pile of garbage and throw everything around. It was like a strategic event, as the best method was to throw out boring stuff like wood and drywall first, then save the good stuff for last – the breakable stuff. The best part is we would sometimes take a baseball bat with us so we could smash shit, such as old TVs. Sadly, times have changed. No longer can you see how far you can throw an old TV. No longer can you go for maximum distance by whirling an old toaster by the cord like a cowboy with a lasso.

Unfortunately, fun was traded for environmentalism. Our more modern landfill now features recycling stations, where you separate things like TVs, paint cans, batteries, metal, etc. You can’t really throw shit around like before. In addition to the recycling stations, our landfill has large dumpsters that you put garbage into. It’s really quite boring unless you have some breakable items. But as far as the toaster toss and TV baseball goes, those days are gone.

I bet after reading my description of how lame the dump is now that there wouldn’t be any excitement to be had. Well, you are wrong. We had the kids with us, so this was a new generation of excitement. Yes, the kids wanted to get in on the action and throw some shit in the bins. That would be perfectly fine, except kids have a tendency to screw things up. Unbeknownst to me, our daughter had her toy rubber rat (don’t ask) with her while she was throwing stuff. Suddenly, our son accidentally knocked her hand while he was throwing a hunk of something, which knocked the rat out of her hand and into the bin. Naturally, she got upset and wanted the rat back. We tried the hard-assed approach first and explained to her that she shouldn’t have brought it in the first place. But because we’re suckers and the bin was relatively empty and we could see the rat, we asked the landfill attendant if she had something we could rescue the toy with.

Below: Yup, that’s me enjoying a long weekend trip to the dump. That’s me. Yup. Fishing for a rat with a giant net. On my belly, overlooking a massive bin that contains unknown horrors while people stare. I thought long weekends were supposed to be fun.

dumpster diving for a toy rat


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3 comments on “Rats!
  1. allthedoors says:

    That is way too funny – only you Kurt! How did it smell?

  2. crockshirt says:

    I know. My mom asked nicely that I not swear too much in this one. But I feel weird about it. I have to swear. I will in the next one. I’ll let one out now, too. Fuck. There, I feel so much better!

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