Even even can be frustrating when things always come out even. Even Steven. Crock of Shirt is even Steven. Speaking of even Steven, who the hell is Steven? Was he a person who liked even numbers? Did he have a preference for parallel lines? Also, do we know for sure that his name was spelled Steven and not Stephen? I’m willing to guess that he wasn’t a prick because things that are even are generally fair.
As I had mentioned earlier, Crock is very even Steven. If the entire goal of being in business is to break even, we are a raging success! For example, we sold 2 shirts yesterday to a very enthusiastic customer, which felt great. Half an hour after the transaction, I went downtown to pick up a new load of business cards, which cost exactly what the two shirts brought in for us. Even. Another example is we recently found out that we require insurance for our business, which costs the equivalent of 2 shirts per month. I realize that’s piss money, but every time we sell two shirts, the joke is we broke even because it covered the insurance. Even. Furthermore, we had managed to recently have a decent sales day and save up a bit of cash, but it immediately flew out the door for supplies. Even. Two shirts = business cards. Two shirts = insurance. Four shirts = a tank of fuel for my truck. Even. It all comes out even.
Hey Steven, can we have more than even? Maybe I want to have a bit of extra cash to buy a fuckin’ milkshake! Huh? Maybe you would consider changing your name to the Money Bunny and hop your ass over here with a sack full of cash. Or if you’re in a shitty mood, you can be the Bitch of Rich and throw the money at my face if it makes you feel better. Thanks, man!