Leaf Blowers and Coffee

Not an easy day today. Some days just never manage to climb out of the toilet bowl, you know?

Below: I drew this years ago. I’m excited that I finally get to put it to use today! Quick sketch with Photoshop for colouring.

life tied me down picture

First off, grinding away at a fledgling business can be tough. Today is a rocky mental day for me. It’s the kind of day that features a low-grade headache right behind my eyeballs. It’s not punishing, but a pesky 15% irritation. My brain has been aching for a couple weeks now. In fact, I feel so foggy that I recently forgot my debit card code for one week. Not good.

Unfortunately, sometimes when you feel sort of off, things around you can go for a shit. It’s like being a shit magnet. And if any of you out there know me personally, you are well aware of my ability to attract shit. Shit and irritation are abundant today.

Below: Proof that I attract it. This is deer shit in my yard that the deer left last night. It was like ring and run. I saw the four little bastards running away after they did it, too.

deer poop in the grass

First was the headache. Second, I was going down to meet a buddy of mine who wanted a few shirts printed with his web address on the back. No problem. But there was a problem. It turns out I fucked up the address. It wasn’t a spelling error, as I added the word “in” into the title. My buddy laughed it off and said he’d buy a new site address, no problem. But still, for me to do that is inexcusable. I should be hanged, drawn and quartered. It embarrasses me to admit that kind of screw up, but I’m doing it here just to prove that not everything behind the scenes is rosy.

Actually, I fucked that up. Back up a minute. Before I even met my buddy, I was on my way to meet him when I noticed a guy with a leaf blower. I’m sure you have heard me question the use of such nonsense. Click here for that. I just find it so completely pointless to stand beside a field of grass that’s covered in leaves and blow the few random leaves off the sidewalk. Pretty sure the next gust of wind will result in all that leaf-blowing being done for nothing. The whole stupidity of it just pisses me off a bit. I’m sure there’s something a little more useful that guy could be doing. Made-up jobs just to keep people busy for no reason other than to be busy is really annoying. Whatever, not my problem hahaha.

Okay, back on track here. After handing over the shirts to my pal, I thought I’d grab a couple coffees before my next meeting. One for me and I was going to grab one for the wife. As I pulled up to my usual Starbucks, I noticed that the majority of spots in the lot were full. All except one up front. Now, this particular spot has “small car” painted on it. I am fully aware of this. I was driving my truck, which is technically not a small car. I am fully aware of this. However, being in no mood to fuck around, and the fact that my truck is not a lifted beastly crew cab monster, I took the spot, as I have done countless times before. Unfortunately, the man waiting in the car on my right side took offense. As I pulled in, he started nodding his head in a “no, no, no” fashion. I thought maybe he had fleas. But when he started pointing at me, I recognized his distress was in fact caused by me having parked beside his new, not-so-small car. As I put Truck Von Truck in Park, he gave me the nod of disapproval.

Really, guy?

Now, recall that I’m having a bad day. I just wanted a coffee. Maybe a hug, too, but just a coffee. $1.96 of happy. In and out. No big deal.

So I instantly got my back up. I didn’t like his reaction. I also hate confrontation, but prepared myself because I knew he wouldn’t let this go. I just knew that because today was the shits that he was gonna push it. As I got out of my truck and rounded the front of it, he opened his door (passenger side) and started blathering. He said something about the small car sign painted on the ground in the stall. While still walking, I looked back at him and said, “Yeah, you mean the one I just parked on.” He shook his head in disgust. I think I shook mine, too.

Below: Truck Von Truck. The name is silly and makes me laugh, so I will keep it.

drawing of the back of my truck

Admittedly, I parked in a small car spot. I admit that. But the truck was easily inside the lines. I didn’t park in a handicapped stall. Also, he didn’t have to react the way he did. He could have politely expressed his concern rather than act like a penis. A short, limp penis. Also, in my defence, I should have been given a medal for keeping it together and not going full meltdown. Why make a big deal about it? Why? I’m a pretty conscientious person and the one time I make a bit of a dick move, some guy has to act like a penis.

So that’s my day. Well, the day isn’t quite over just yet, so there’s still time left to fuck something up. But I’m happy now that I get to go back to the latest design I’m working on. And to the guy who was a little penis to me today: if you happen to be reading this (you might be, as I suspect you saw me wearing my Crock of Shirt hoodie and maybe you’re going to stalk me), I bet your life would be better with a Crock of Shirt shirt! Check us out, man. We actually give a shit. Sometimes we make mistakes, but we all have bad days!

Update! I fucked up again! Yup, I just looked at my email and realized I was supposed to meet friends today and it completely slipped my mind. I completely screwed up again and I totally apologize, guys. Dammit. I’m going to go to bed now before this gets worse. I’ll probably piss myself tonight or something.

funny sketch of a guy screaming


Wear a shirt that you love! Crock of Shirt was born to share our passion for drawing and printing quality shirt designs. .

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Posted in Art, Life, Shirts
2 comments on “Leaf Blowers and Coffee
  1. Emily says:

    That limp penis is a ginormous limp penis. I think that makes sense. I love it when people think it’s their gosh darn RIGHT to tell everyone else how horrible they are. It’s a fucking parking stall. No one died, or would have died, and he had a spot so it doesn’t even effect him! Don’t worry dude, we’re just human. Judgie mcjudgins out there in public seem to forget that often.

  2. Kurt, just what can I say. Dude, you are too funny. I love how you say you are pulling kind of a dick move and that the other guy is being a penis… Don’t you see? You’re both cocks out there in the world butting heads… Ha ha! Any ways, today you can sit back in your office chair and giggle about yesterday. It’s what will keep you alive. Today my friend is a new day full of unknown adventure… TGIF!!! Mira 🙂

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