Dr. Deer Snot

Before I get started, I just want to clarify that I wrote this exactly 24 hours ago. I hadn’t gotten around to posting it until now. Another clarification is my doctor is a great guy and his office is very clean. And I did indeed write this on my iPhone.

After a good morning of drawing a set of stylish deer antlers, I am now waiting at the doctor’s office and I just noticed something mildly threatening beside me. I see there is a spot of something on the arm of the chair. It has caused me to sit with a distinct lean to the left to avoid it.

Below: See that brown spot in the middle? That’s not wood grain. Nor is it a freckle.

picture of suspicious spot on the arm of a chair

Oh fuck, now a really strange guy just sat down on my other side. He just came out if the washroom. He is mouth breathing, which is forcing me to lean back to the right towards the unknown mystery spot. This is awkward. It’s awkward, but proving to be a good core workout.

I’m trying to determine which is the bigger threat. The spot? The mouth breather? So long as he doesn’t move or sneeze, I’m safe on my left. I know the undetermined spot won’t lurch at me.

The spot. At first glance, I thought it was snot. But it’s pretty dark in colour, so that might indicate shit. There is a chance that it could be chocolate, but that seems unlikely. People seeing the doctor are either due for a checkup or ill. If one is ill, there is generally a risk of heightened snot flow or excess shit.

Fuck! I moved and almost dipped my right elbow in it.

Anyway, I bet it’s snot. There is a greater chance that someone came in and smeared a booger. Just a quickie smear. Filthy pig. Snot is definitely less threatening than poo, but it’s still nothing I prefer to cuddle up with.

Thankfully, I am next in line! Quick checkup, then back to my deer drawing!

Below: I had a spare deer head drawing in my files and suddenly remembered I had drawn a middle finger. Deer + finger = below. Should we make this a shirt? It makes me laugh.

Deer with antlers drawn like hands with middle fingers extended

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Posted in Art, Life, Shirts
3 comments on “Dr. Deer Snot
  1. allthedoors says:

    I don’t think I would buy it – but I think it is hilarious. I could see passionate animal rights/anti-hunter wearing it!

  2. Nicola says:

    Oh oh oh, laughing til I hurt. This after brown tissue…do you have OCD. I almost hope so, so that I’m going to find more posts like this!

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