I was recently out for supper downtown. Downtown always provides something interesting to see. I usually see shit that makes no sense. I also see shit. Literally. And half the time I can’t tell if it’s canine or human.
As we were walking to the restaurant after nervously parking the car across the street from two suspicious characters having a drunken mock boxing match, I happened to notice a pay phone. As is common with innocent outdoor pay phones, this one had obviously had the shit kicked out of it, possibly by the two drunken characters before starting their boxing match. The interesting thing about this particular phone was the empty mug sitting on the shelf. A mug. Sitting at a downtown pay phone. Hmmm.
Below: The mug on the pay phone shelf. Looks like it has a coupon or some sort of card on it. I didn’t investigate, as there was a high risk of piss.
If you have read any of my previous posts about randomly placed oddities (check this out), you might know that this is when I start to wonder how or why this took place. My best guess is the mug came from the hotel/casino across the street. Probably some drunken lunatic wandered out of the place without paying attention. Maybe he wasn’t a lunatic. Maybe he was a she. Or maybe the person wasn’t drunk at all, but wanted to swipe a free mug. Sucks to be them because they forgot to take it after putting it down at the phone.
That brings me to my next thought. Why did the person go to a pay phone? Almost everybody has a phone now. Well, except for the boxing fellas. Or if the mug was taken from the hotel/casino, there must certainly have been a phone to use. Then again, if the mug thief was a drunken lunatic, placing it down for a second to take a piss makes sense. However, the location of the pay phone is in the wide open without any protection to piss. Even a drunken lunatic would most likely make an attempt to be secretive when pissing a downtown piss. Maybe a drunken lunatic stole the mug to piss in it while hiding down the street, then left it at the phone to play a trick on another drunken lunatic!
I wonder where the mug is now. I wonder if it’s still there. I wonder if it made it back from where it came from. Poor mug.
Update! I happened by the shitkicked pay phone again just this past weekend! No mug, though. Not surprised, really. But I did see a random hunk of carpet. Possibly a welcome mat. A welcome mat to what, I don’t know, as it wasn’t placed in front of anything other than a small brick wall. I bet it’s full of piss. Maybe it was traded for the mug that might have been full of piss. Maybe one of the drunken characters tried to trade it for the mug and they ended up fighting and what I saw wasn’t a mock boxing match!
Below: The random piss carpet welcome mat, welcoming you to the brick wall.